WHY DIDN’T HE SHARE?
By Ruby


If I’d been his mistress
he might have paid my rent
if I'd been a groupie
oh, the travels I would have went!

but I am a modern woman
I don’t whine about what I lack
so I stayed home and cooked for him
and entertained him on my back

he’s got property in Hawaii
Santa Cruz and Mexico
but his basement in Seattle
was where I was allowed to go

cuz we are friends and lovers
a girlfriend I am not
and I’m too liberated to expect
him to pay for squat

now he hops the globe
while I await social security
something ain’t no way right here
sure don’t look fair to me

he said the friendship came first
he said he’s always care
as you chowed down my food bank meals, oh Tim,
did it occur to you to share?

I’m a liberated woman
at least that’s what I tell me
but at the end of this relationship
I ran into a tree
my health was shot and damaged
irrevocably
he said he wanted to help me get well from PTSD
he wasn’t ashamed and wanted me to meet his friends and family

instead he raped my mind with his
abuse emotionally
and I'm still feeling pain
from his abuse sexually

I wanted to be his equal
I do hate to be needy
I know it’s not illegal
to be egregiously greedy

if you look at pictures of his life
you’ll never see me there
I blamed myself for not fitting in
‘cuz why else wouldn’t he share?

he said the friendship came first
he said he’d always care
if you see my ex abuser,
please ask him, won’t he share?